When you think about culture, what crosses your mind? Do you think of nationality? Race? Identity?
Often we think of culture as sacred, something that is meant to be preserved, no matter what. There is however another side to culture that we should consider, a darker side.
I’m talking about successful vs unsuccessful cultures.
But wait, isn’t he definition of culture, a pattern of behaviors that has lasted for generations?
Yes, but that doesn’t mean that they are all as good as the other when it comes to helping you as an individual. I don’t plan on breaking down any culture in particular, but I do want to address some of the things you should be looking into when evaluating your own culture.
This is hard stuff, because culture is so ingrained in our subconscious mind, that we might know readily see it, but lets try.
- Is Your Culture Holding You Back?
I’m sorry, but this is who I am, and its who my parents were before me, and so on. This is and always will be a terrible excuse.
If you ever find yourself playing the blame game, chances are, you’ve adopted a toxic culture. You are assigning all your problems to someone else, and then living with those circumstances. Blame is something we bestow on others to make ourselves feel better about the woes that beset us.
Sometimes this blame game can also be played against ourselves. When this happens, we find ourselves with the next cultural problem, self-doubt. We can’t ever get anywhere, because we aren’t good enough, or every time we try, we mess it up. We shame ourselves and our decisions. We learn that we are never going to be good enough.
Why is that even a cultural thing? Because if you’re telling yourself you’re not good enough, it’s likely because the people in your life were the same ways as you are. They might be supportive in all you do, they most likely love you, but their toxic self-doubts about themselves only perpetuates that sort of thinking in you.
The people in your life can also, unintentionally also act like crabs in a bucket. Maybe you’ve heard that if you put crabs in a bucket, they’ll keep pulling each other back down, so that none can escape. We do the same thing with those we love most.
Maybe we have an idea, maybe its a good one, maybe its ambitious. Great! Your family and friends admit as much. Maybe they also admit that it would be cool if somebody did that idea some day. By this, they mean somebody who is not you.
Subliminally, they are casting doubt on your plans.
I remember in my childhood, I told a family member that I wanted to be a filmmaker. “That’s great,” they said. “Only, we don’t know anyone in that business, and you have to know the right people.”
As a young kid, that short forgotten conversation meant a lot to me. It was the day my dreams were crushed. I lived with that, clear up until about 10 years ago, when I rediscovered my desire to be a filmmaker. Only this time, I had the confidence to break free from that doubt.
What sort of shackles of the mind are holding you back from chasing your dreams?
Chances are, they’re so strong and tied to your upbringing, that your ambitions might feel next to impossibly to achieve.
- How To Break Free
So how do you go about fixing the negative aspects of your culture? Should you run away from all your family and friends and start over?
Chances are, you’ll take that culture with you. In fact, if running away sounds like a good option, look back and see if any of your family and friends ever did something similar. This little exercise might surprise you.
So what do we do?
As a religious man, I’m exposed to several inspiring messages on a regular basis, one of them is from the leaders of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day Saints. They have often invited people to come to Christ, not to leave their culture behind, but to bring the best of their culture with them, and allow the church to add more to their lives.
I love this line of thinking. When we are looking to change our culture into something that better benefits us and our children, look for the good in the culture you have. Acknowledge the bad, but focus on the good, and figure out what you can add to it, that will improve it. Otherwise, you might get stuck right back where you started, blaming your culture, and turning your back on all that is good in your life.
The world is so full of good examples, inspiring people, and worthy pursuits, that you should never find yourself at a loss when it comes to seeking self improvement. A lot our circumstances can be directly affected by our mindset. If you take yourself, where-ever your culture has placed you, and work on improving your mindset, you can create a whole new world of possibilities that your current mindset never before dreamed was possible.
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